05-13-04

    Wating For Darkness   Posted by Tillman

This last few days for me have been some what of a weird "trip" that I never agreed to be part of.... Monday night I recieved an email from someone I don't know that had info about me personally and went on to explain that the attachment within the email was a video of an Amreican being killed. I never open attachments. Not once ever in the history of my internet life. But this time was different. Who ever emailed me wasn't trying to infect my PC. I opened the attachment, and sure enough, even before I knew anything about the whole Nick Berg thing from the news I was watching him die right before my eyes. I won't lie, part of me wanted to just post the video online asap, but part of me waiting to debate the question is it right or wrong to post this at FX.

How I've gone from cock-strong in my beliefs to taking the time to think things over has been a hell of a ride... One that I'm not really to happy with honestly. I miss the "good ole days" when I just knew I was right no matter what. These days I don't sleep. I see almost every situation from both sides, so much so it's hard for me to really have an opinion on a subject one way or the other. Sure, the simple things are easy, but nothing in life is really simple today, is it? One of these days I'm going to figure out right from wrong. Maybe even form a real opinion about shit. Fuck no, I'm not happy feeling this way, thinking about shit so deeply, seeing both sides of almost any huge ass problem that faces the world today. Again, fuck no, I hate that. Thinking sucks. Trying to understand some other point of view is what has led me to the plane of hell I currently roam. I'd rather just hop on the popular (or unpopular) band wagon and just react and blindly follow the rest of the herd without ever trying to make my own opinion then me and play/re-play shit over and over in my mind from every point of view possible.

For example, I can see how that people could get into the whole jihad thing. I mean shit, it's fun really. Guns, killing, fuck the world, part of a huge group of people that believe the same things. I went to at least 50 web sites the last few days that are all about jihad, i.e. preach nothing but war against the US and the one thing they all had in common was their banners. True, not one single banner was exactly like another, but the message was the same. In them, there was pictures of automatic weapons and churches. And many had the words "god is great" right next to a picture of a hand grenade. Almost like why someone would join a club such as the Elks, or Loyal Order of Watter Buffalo. Nothing feels better then belonging to something bigger than yourself.... right? Add that with you can kill people and it's okay then you really got something going!

The truth I think is, what's going on in the world right now is nothing more than gang warfare on a global scale. Think about it for a second. The crack their pushing is god (Allah/Jihad etc). Some would say that the god the US is pushing/serving is oil, but I say the crack we're pushing is called freedom. And just like any gang we know here in the US, fuck with a member of the gang, people ride by in the middle of the night and shoot your house up. (Fly by in the middle of the night and bomb your town) Take out a member of my gang, I'll cut the head of a member of yours. Difference is most people don't dance around in the street when a blood offs a crip.

I'm posting all this still not knowing what to think. I'm also posting the Nick Berg Beheading Video uncut, and unedited. This is the real version that was posted on the net first, not the cut up version just showing the violence. It's saved to a non compressed zip form, so you have to right click and save it. I'd like to say as someone that has witnessed violence first hand (even death) that the video is extremely disturbing. Also, I was going to post the transcription of what the killers said on the tape. I got a chance to read the whole statement other day, but it appears it's not online any longer, and I didn't save it. If you want to read their message you might be able to find it sooner or later... Please send me the text/URL so i can post it here as well.

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   05-06-04

    You Can't Have It Both Ways   Posted by Tillman

Well I made it. Another 1,200 miles under my belt. I haven't sat down and figured the numbers, but I'm pretty sure that put me over the 30,000 mile mark for the last year and a half. I was checking out the map of the US and I've been to every state except 5. Yes Alaska and Hawaii are on that list. Fuck, I'm rambling. Any ways, I'm here, back in LA. Nothing has changed as far as I can tell so far. It's still an ass backwards redneck racist paradise. On the way here I drove through Little Rock, Arkansas and I shit you not on one of the local radio stations there they was having an interview with Tom Metzger (his web site: WAR - White Aryan Resistance). I'm still trying to piece it all together but apparently Elton John made a statement about the FOX TV show Amreican Idol that was racist, and Tom hopped on board and yada yada yada a rock station in Arkansas must have agreed with what Tom and Elton had to say... The radio station tried to play it off in the end, after Metzger was gone that he was just a lone nut talking shit, but during the interview they was sucking his ass and baiting him to answer questions how they knew Metzger would.... I.E. As the racist he is.

I'd like to say that although I think Metzger is a fucking paranoid nut, and agree with very little he has to spew..... I learned a long ass time ago that the greatest thing in the world is that we're all different. What a fucked up boring ass world it'd be if we was all the same. Saying that doesn't mean I have to like/agree or even understand other peoples beliefs. But I'm intelligent enough to know that what I see when I look at a piece of art or hear a song that the person next to me can't possibly see or hear what I do. Sure, they may see or hear the same thing but their brain will process it different. So there's no way anyone will really ever experience the same thing as any other being. Part of me feels the need to go into major detail about his, but I'm not going to do it. If you're lost, and can't understand what I'm saying then there's probably no hope for you in this world. I suggest you off yourself right now and not only save the world some grief, but save yourself from years of pain and confusion.

Holy fuck, I seen the pics of Americans "abusing" Iraqis and I won't lie my jaw hit the floor. Serious. I wasn't shocked that US troops were abusing them, I mean c'mon, this country, it's army. Of course it's going to happen. What blew my mind was that people actually posed for these photos like the rest of the world would never see them. People talk about conspiracy theories in regards to anything military, where the fuck were they when this shit came out? One of the things that blows my mind is that people took the pics to be real from the get go without ever questioning them. This in the age of the Rodney King video. I'm not saying that the pics aren't real. I'm fairly certain they're real. But anyone that questions anything the government puts out there and just accepts these pics as real is completely full of shit. I mean for real, what's the difference? I don't wanna stir up dead horses.... I belive the pics are real too, I guess. But if you question government how can you just assume these pics are real? And if they are real, and I was running shit the people in those pics would be publicly executed. Serious. How people in power can just blow it off as a select few that just fucked up blows my mind. When the pics I posted last month of Iraqis burning/dragging/hanging bodies in the street it pissed off anyone that had an IQ over 50. Well, okay, to them freaked fuckers, what those troops did to them was just as bad. Kill them! Why the fuck won't our government stand up and kill them fuckers? Sure, we have laws, courts, appeals, etc.... But if those pics are real kill them all. How in the fuck can anyone justify any war against a country based on crimes committed agaisnt the people by the government that's in place there if the same crimes will be/are commited by the invading force?

Here's the pictures that pissed off the world.....

#1    #2    #3    #4    #5    #6    #7    #8   

Fuck! I hope that anyone reading this opens up their mind. You can't have it both ways. You can't question everything the US government does then accept whatever a foreign government feeds you. I can't say it enough...... You think that the US is fronting and never question another government? Please! All governments are fucked. They're all corrupt. The thing that divides a lot of people around FX is that many people seem to think the only people that are capable of doctoring photos, and having reports of wrong doing is the US. Sure it happens here, but the rest of the world is playing by the "rules"? What a joke! All I can say to you is wake the fuck up! Is it better that the US wins, or another government? You might think you're secure cause you rant some hate here and there about the USA, but in the end you're as fucked as Uncle Sam.

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   04-29-04

    I Got Time To Wish Away   Posted by Tillman

I'm posting this update for no other reason to let you fuckers know that yes, I am still alive. Once again I'm in the middle of moving. Fuck, I'm so sick of moving. I can say without a doubt, this is the last time I'm going to move for at least 2 years. I'm burnt. If I have to pack again without really wanting to move again I couldn't stand it. I can't lie, the mini tour I've had over the last 2 years of the US has been one hell of a good time, but it's time stayed somewhere long enough to actually remember my phone number/address without having to read it from a note in my pocket. I'm not going to total up the exact number, but I'm thinking this is move number 6 in the last 2.5 years. Off the top of my head (again guessing here) I think I've moved over 12,000 miles in that 2.5 years. On top of all that I've been living in major cities. I need a change. So I'm heading into the middle of BFE once again. For those of you that are brain dead etc.... BFE = Bum Fuck Egypt. A slang term for the middle of nowhere.

A pon arriving in BFE one of two things are going to happen. Either I'm going to be so fucking bored I'm going to spend all my free time working out, fishing, hunting, hiking, and a lot of my time working on FX. Or, I'm going to completely freak out in the woods, and spend all my time working on FX. Either way, this move is going to be good for everyone. I gotta say I really miss updating. I know most people reading this now may not have a fucking clue as to what I'm/FX is about.... I pretty much scared/pissed off a huge following. Which is too funny if you knew the whole story. The short of it is I'm a dickhead. People liked me because I was a dickhead. People that got to know me said, "Fuck, Tillman is a dickhead!", and proceeded to tell the world I was a dick, even though that's what got them caught up in my shitty little website. Ironic? Maybe. Retarded? 100 percent! These are my thoughts on the subject, the facts may vary from case to case. Regardless, unless I fall over dead between here and BFE there should be more of the FX you old time regs are used to..... I.E stupid updates filled with my fucked up, some times (weirdly) humorous point of view.

I gotta say, it's strange saying all this, like I have a plan or some shit. That's not the case at all. In fact, it's as far from a plan as possible. The truth is I'm going to just say whatever the fuck I want, just like I do in my real life. I learned something from getting to be friends with a lot of people from FX that I already knew to be true but forgot thinking the net was different, every single person on this plant sucks ass. I won't lie, I got caught up in the hype people was telling me thinking the web was somehow different. Blah! What a fucking joke. It's worse! The truth is I don't give a fuck if I drive off every single mother on the web. I'm paying for this shit, if you don't like it fuck off! Letting traffic die down was my plan after the last message board heist. Mission complete. Whole new blank slate. Welcome to FX you crossed eyed fuck up.

I should be settled into my newest home within 10 days from now, so write the date down, cause I'm back, motherfucker!

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   04-01-04   Posted by Tillman

U.S. Civilians Mutilated in Iraq Attack (Read more)    The Photos    #1   #2   #3   #4   #5   #6   #7   #8   #9   #10   #11   #12   #13   #14   #15  
Police chase ends in suicide, human head found inside the car (Read more)
'No crime' seen in man nailing himself to cross ~ another "Passion" victim (Read more)

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   03-27-04   Posted by Tillman

"Kofi Asare is the talk of the town after his quick sip of rocker Courtney Love's breast last week has garnered him fifteen minutes of fame. After appearing in The New York Post and on the Howard Stern Show, Asare, now known as Love's "milkman," wants everyone to know that he's a rapper too. Asare talked to SOHH.com about the tit-tillating incident and "milking" the moment. Last week, on his way to buy chicken nuggets at Union Square's Wendy's, Asare's banal stop quickly turned into a lifetime opportunity. "It happened on St. Paddy's day on my way to work. I went into [Wendy's] and noticed there was a lot of paparazzi there." (Read more)

Hooters Applicants Videotaped Naked (Read more)
"Passion of Christ" Moves Man to Confess Murder (Read more)
Dogs? Seatbelts? Another Sign Society Has Lost It's Way? (Read more)
Man Distributes His Nude Photos on Cars at Wal-Mart (Read more)
20 Years for Georgia Female Genital Piercings (Read more)
Court Affirms Nipple Piercing Conviction (Read more)
Chicken Nugget Run Ends in Sucking Courtney Love's Breast (Read more)
KFC Bloody Buckets (Read more)
Suburban Auto Groups Truck Monkey (Funny) (Read more)
Biking Chernobyl 2004 - Pictures Thoughts (Read more)

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   03/23/04

    Strange News   Posted by Tillman

World Champion 'Snake Man' Killed by Cobra (Read More)
Man Accused of Spitting on Cop's Burger (Read More)

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