The great thing about me finding a really strange link and sharing it with you guys is the fact that some of you crazy fuckers out there not only go to the site, you cause much havoc in the sites guestbook/message board and what have you, 2 out of every 10 times I post, oh, I don't know, something like this the webmaster will email begging me to remove their link. Most of the time I'll just ignore'em until they go away. When they're a total asshole about it, that's when the pop-up window is activated. "HIS RIGHT ARM IS BADLY DISFIGURED AND ALSO HIS LEG, I FORGET WHICH ONE" ......Oh man, I almost fell off my chair laughing when I read this shit. $4,000? Man, this bitch must be crazy, I know people that would hack her ass up for $100 and a 8-ball for posting all that personal info on the net. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!.........
Also, will one of you guys please sign up for this site and tell me what's going on in there. I sat there looking at it for a few, and to me, it kinds looks like a carrot under a box being held up with a stick that has a string tied to it.... "The Members Are Psychology Majors And Criminal Profilers That Specialize In Criminal Behavior" Something just feels weird about that site. If you check it out, let me know. There's also a link on the side bar that says "Amy's Site", by clicking that it takes you to SerialKillers.net. Says right on top "No sensation - No gore", they should add imagination to that list too.... What a boring place. Great info, but being there the way it looks verses the content compares to getting sexual advice from your grandparents. Cut loose. You know you wanna post some splatter. Open up a vein and let it flow.
It must have been my lucky day today. But stupid me didn't buy play the lotto, all I did was open my email box.
Subject: Banner Exchange
From: Wtfbro@aol.com
Date: Sat, March 23, 2002 2:30 am
To: Tillman@forcedexistence.com
hi. i have a website. i wish to exchange banners with you. i have no life, so
your banner could be up as soon as possible. i have to go to work in about a
half an hour, so i will put it up after work if you respond by then. check
out my site and let me know if you are interested in the exchange.
Subject: link trade
From: Beth thebitch@bitchycat.com
Date: Mon, March 18, 2002 9:10 pm
To: Tillman@ForcedeXistence.com
Hey Tillman -
I found your site on Seabasstales.com. I've also been reading some of your posts on
his site too. Pretty cool stuff. I just started my own web site about a month ago.
It's still pretty new, not a lot of content yet and some parts are kind of lame but
it's my site and I'm proud of it regardless. Anyway, check it out, tell me what you
think and let me know if you want to trade links.
I'm not one that'll just put someone down/talk shit about somones site. Taking the time to make a site and all that, there's no point in just bashing someones work... WTFbro or BitchyCat isn't bad, not in the layout since of the word. but at the same time I just can't see how FX has anything in common with these sites... Bitchy, if your site was about poodles, you would have gotten the banner slot up top....... So there's your plug, enjoy the freaks.
Wide-eyed. Clutching the steering wheel, I crush the gas pedal into the floor board, leaning back into the feeling of metal, oil, and gas becoming one in a obscene display of horsepower. GWAR is screaming to me that I'm addicted to violence as the car rips through the quickie mart parking lot into the night. Who would have ever thought someone wearing a Bon Jovi tee shirt would be so bold. Stupid mother fucker. Next time he starts to cut someone off maybe he'll remember me slamming his head into the hood of his car 5 or 6 times.
Almost every guy reading this right now thinks, or even knows they can take care of themselves when the shit hits the fan. But I'm here to tell you that unless you're willing to take it to the next level, you're not shit. The thing about being a so called bad ass isn't how much weight you pump, or even how well you can fight. It's your mental status that determines wether or not you are the shit or not. For instance, someone who just snapped, has been taking shit for many years, and have taken all the days of rage and stuffed'em down. All of a sudden the explosion, and it's going to take a few dozen people to take him down. The trick is to stay that focus every fucking minute of ever fucking day. If you just caught your chick fucking some dude 2 times bigger than you, you'll kick his ass every time because of the rage you're feeling. The big guy is happy, content, and completely taken off guard. Once your guard comes down, you're subject to major punishment from any direction.
The reason I'm bringing all this up is simple. As I've said in the past, if there's one thing that'll probably become my down fall, meaning gets me locked up for killing one of you, it's some dipshit in a traffic related incident. Let me give everyone out there that isn't willing to drink a mother fuckers blood after ripping his head off along side the road one final warning; Before you hop out of that car, you better think about who is getting out of the other one. It could turn out to be someone like myself, that is always on the edge, ready to smash your face, ass fuck your pets, and snort your dearly departed mothers remains. It's simple. Act like the other guy is insane, a escapee even! You never know.....
On a darker note.....
Okay, someone please help me, I have developed a major fucking drinking problem. The problem is, I stopped drinking the hard shit last year, and except for maybe one or two times, I've been able to avoid drinking yummy yummy vodka, or my favorite, 151. Anyways, beer has always been my friend, so there was no problem there. But now that I'm in DC, I can't find my beer of choice for getting hammered, Bud Ice. I looked and looked, and I just can't find it anywhere. I bought some Ice House (Yuck), and other assorted domestic and imports, even had my other favorite Sapporro, but there's just no comparison to the buzz Bud Ice gives me... One day, I bought a six pack of Smirnoff Ice, and now holy hell I can't quit drinking them fuckers! Not only them, but I mix it up, with Skyy Blue, or whatever the fuck, and Bacardi Silver. They taste so good, but the problem is I only get half the buzz I did with Bud Ice."What can I do for you Tillman?" Email Budweiser and tell then to give us some mother fucking Bud Ice in DC!
FX has been back online less than a month and I have to tell you that I'm not happy. Yeah, traffic is building up, and the site is becoming what is was before, and that's part of the problem. Same as before, lame ass bullshit over on the message board, no hate mail, and unlike before there's a empty feeling inside of me about it all. To top everything off, all the regs have their own sites, which is great for them and all, but while really taking a close look this weekend, FX appears to have let itself just be lumped in with 1000's of other sites with different names doing exactly the same fucking thing. This is completely unacceptable. I know my rants is what pushed this site over the top before, my opinions were heard, and it was a great feeling knowing that there was so many other people out there that thought the same as myself. And that's what drew people in. It's also what pushes people to create their own sites, looking for that bond, the acceptance of others. That takes quite a long time to develop, and by me turning you away for almost a year, I have not only allowed me to grow, but you as well.
As for now, everything is going to stay the same until I can get a clear grasp as to what I want to do here. I have some ideas, but just rehashing the same shit as everyone else is certainly not on the menu.
Maybe I'm just talking shit? It's late, I was laying there all tucked into bed reading The Night Stalker, and it hit me that m web site was just sitting here, cold and lonely except for the fed hanging around here trying to profile my ass. Think I'm just talking shit huh? See for yourself. The old "How to make a pipe bomb" page eh Morbid? Always trying to pin something on my ass.
Fuck! I just don't get it. Why in the hell can't I just go with the flow and enjoy something without picking it apart? Not thinking about shit would make my life so much easier, but I can't help it. If it's unimportant I obsess. If there's major shit going down I know exactly how to handle it and take control. It's almost like, hey everyone bug the fuck out of that crazy fucker Tillman, let's see if we can get him to open up FX again just to see if he's still having episodes and shit. I tell ya man, I'm one bunny slipper away from the nut house. I'm going to go back to bed now. Snuggle up with The Night Stalker, and imagine myself right there in with Ramirez in LA slashing, fucking, and stealing old ladies eyes all in the name of Satan.
Things are coming along here, slowly but still coming along. I had some fun at the archive place, looking for shit that was deleted from before. It appears that the gods, are fucking with me. Nothing new huh? Everything that I had saved was there, and almost everything that was lost wasn't. Go figure. Nothing worth while is easy, or some shit. Right?
The Horny For Evil section at FX is up and running again. I decided this time around to just put all the pics I have on one page, skip the thumbnails, and offer a text link. This will save some bandwidth, and is a lot easier for me to update. I name the pics as I go... The first thing that pops in my mind is what they're named. Some might find this fun/neat, and I'm sure others will find it fucking stupid. The name of the game is bandwidth people. If FX starts going over it's allowed bandwidth, it'll all be down until the next month starts..... For all of you out there that suck, i.e. ;like to link to images on other peoples site, if you fucking dare link to shit here at FX I'm going fix it so you'll never link to another pic again for as long as you live.... Trust me.
Pooh Goes Apshit is also back up and running. I know... It's stupid, but I like it damnit. There's just something awesome about taking something as cute as Pooh and making it fucking insane. I'd also like to welcome back Morbid Shadow back to FX. His kick ass site intitled The Truth About God is back on FX add free. Thanks Morbid, for letting me host something as cool as The Truth About God. If you've never taken the time to chaeck it out, it's a must see......
I asked a question about "bogers", I didn't even notice the speell checker fucked me untill it was too late, but someone did answer...
First, we need the facts (found at Discovery.com and Medscape.com). 1. The average, normal, human, nasal passage produces about 1 quart of mucus per day. 2. Approximately .05% of nasal mucus is solidified into boogers per day. 3. The average life expectancy for Americans is about 80 years (averaged across genders and race).
Second, we need some formulas for conversion. 1. 1 quart = 38.43 ounces 2. 1 quart = 230.6 Teaspoons 3. 1 ounce = 28.35 grams 4. 1 year = 365.25 days (80 years * 365.25 days/year = 29220 days).
Finally, we do the calculating.
1. .0005 quarts/day * 38.43 ounces = .02 ounces per day 2. .0005 quarts/day * 230.6 teaspoons = .12 teaspoons per day 3. .02 ounces/day * 28.35 grams = .56 grams per day
Conclusions – we produce about:
.02 ounces/day * 29220 days = 584.4 ounces per lifetime (36.5 pounds per lifetime) .12 teaspoons/day * 29220 days = 3506.4 teaspoons per lifetime (15.2 quarts or 3.8 gallons per lifetime) .56 grams/day * 29220 days = 16363.2 grams per lifetime
One obvious problem is that these are extrapolated data. If you were to actually save your boogers then measure their weight or volume, they would surely dry and shrivel, thus you would not be able to get an accurate measurement. Another problem is I don't know exactly what constitutes a booger. Do those slimy ones that somehow hold a form count? What about dried up dirt that you pick out after working the field? Perhaps boogers should categorized by flavor rather than weight, shape, or volume. In which case, most of mine are salty, thus, most boogers produced during a lifetime are salty.
Thanks for all the info man. I know this has helped me sleep better the last few nights, and has more than likely helped many others come to grips with how fucking snotty they really are. You rock!
I'm so blown away right now, I don't even no where to start. This is going to be some really good news for some of you.... There's a site that lets you view sites as they were in the past, okay? Webarchive.org is building the first online library or some shit. The site started saving pages some time 1996 from what I can make out. It's truly a remarkable way to see the net the way it was, even if the site has been deleted. Apon reading this, of course the first thing I tried to do was check out some old pages from FX, trying to recover some graphics, pics, and a few html pages, right? And while scrolling through the some-odd pages, I had a laugh here and there about old layouts, and stupid shit, I came across a link to the old message board. I clicked it and holy fucking shit, it's all there! All the old posts! I was so shocked, I started clicking shit, reading away, and then it hit me... I had renamed the board the same as before FX was shut down, everything is still in the same directories, so maybe, just maybe it'll work. I typed a message, hit send, and the new message was posted to the new board!
I checked the FAQ section thinking there's no way in hell they'd let anyone link to archived files, but I was wrong. So, you guys can not only look at all the old posts, you can respond to them and it'll be posted on the new board! God damn, technology is fucking insane! Check it out, there's three different archives, the first one was the very first add free message board. The second one was after I had to free up some space on the board because the file size was so fucking large. All you regs will remember, you all went apeshit when you heard I had deleted them files.. Well, now they're back! The third archive was post-CD, and only contains posts for about the last 10 days the board was up and running.
I'll set up a link on the board to go back in time there too, so you guys can click your little hearts out. And remember, you can reply to messages even while in the archive, and they will be posted on the new board. Amazing shit people.... Enjoy!
Well fuck! Not even a week back online and people are already giving me total fucking shit about a link here, text there, chat room colors, IP's, and on and mother fucking on. Jesus fucking christ people. I told you guys it was going to take a little while to get shit running the way it was before. I didn't save but about 5 pages of html (not including past updates) from the old FX, so not everything is going to be the way it was.. I'm doing the best I can to bring back things that you liked in the past, but at the same time I'm trying not to let FX take over my life. I really do need you guys to point out shit that is fucked up, it does help out, but don't come at me like I'm fucking stupid. FX Chat Hell has been modified for those of you out there that have never taken the time to customize your browser.. Which means there is now a big ass bright ass white background in the chat room. I think it sucks ass like that, but if I got one mother fucking more email talking about grey/black text I would have had to kill somebody.
Enjoy the white-ness of it all......
For those of you that have no clue who or what I'm about, as far as computer shit goes, I'm nothing. I have never taken one class on html, cgi, nothing! I learn as I go, so if you're expecting some major bullshit popping up, with stats of users online here, and a message board that licks your asshole while you post, you're in the wrong place. I can honestly say I know mother fucking nothing about programming. But at the same time I'm not a fucking moron, I can take a canned script and make it work the way I want it to fucking work. I started out on a $100 webtv unit, and so did FX.com. If you don't dig what's going on here, then get the fuck out of the way! Type-O's, fucked links, and black back grounds with red text are all part of FX, forever! It'll never change because I'm totally fucking far from perfect. Which means I'm exactly like you.
In today's gimme gimme gimme world, someone like myself is sure and piss off people on a daily basis. That's my pay day. Knowing that shit here at FX has pushed someone to the edge. We all have our own little bounderies. Finding them, confronting them, and moving past them makes us a better person in the end. If you don't push yourself, you're really not alive! Anyways, somehow all that shit is reversed and does the same for me on a different level. I'll never really be a better person. I'm the same old dickhead I was 6 years ago.
But I function in your world now.
There's this handicap person I worked with, and she was cool with me the first few times we talked. But once casual day rolled around and all my tats were right there for the world to see, she not only stopped talking to me, she ignores me completely. No more good mornings. No more hellos. Nothing, She wiggles her crippled ass right on past me without so much as giving the slightest clue I'm alive. Am I really such a bad person? No matter, I've got plans for her ass.......
I fixed the chat room, if I didn't say before. And the message board no will no longer post your IP address. I also got the Vacuum Sex section back up and running. Enjoy! I'm going to get all the gore pics I have together next, so Horny For Evil should be up next. There's still plenty of shit to do around here, I'm doing my best, so again, I ask that you bare with me while everything gets caught up.
I glued some cgi codes together today and hacked out a bastard version of blue-chat. FX Chat Hell. Hop on in there and plot mankinds down fall or just bitch about how much it sucks. (Flash back?) It seems to work pretty good, nothing special, but it works. (I think) I should be back a little later, so stop back by and watch what happens when I get about 12 Smirnoff Ice in my ass.
Before I go, I have a question..... How much boogers does the average person produce in a life time in pounds? I'm sure one of you freaks out there knows, or can find out. I'm not sure how this started taunting me, but I can't seem to stop thinking about it. It got me to thinking about those contest were you guess the number of marbles in a jar? There should be a FX contest were you'd guess the number boogers in like a baby jar.....? Or maybe how many used maxi-pads in a pickle jar? Pretty stupid shit, I know. But it would still be cool to see it.
I got off my ass and put the message board together tonight. It's exactly like the old one, easy as hell to use. So if even if you're drunk off your ass you should have no problem posting bullshit. Maybe this time we can all keep atleast tame enough to keep the feds from hanging out there.....? I know that's asking a lot, but we'll see how it goes. I'll try and get a chat room up and running ASAP. The old room turned out to be quite a popular place once people starting setting times to meet up. No one used the damn thing for the first year, before FX shut it's doors, you couldn't keep people out. The old script is gone, but I may have found something better.... I'll let you know.
While driving home tonight, I thought about all the news stories out there, and how I wanted to rant about Rosie being gay. Or about the Fox celebrity boxing matches. How the US joined the holy war. March madness. Shoe-A-Cide bombers. Jews drinking blood. Nukes pointed at China. Enron scandel. Killing your kids in the tub. Middle east extremist. It just goes on and on. There's so much shit happening right now it can all be pretty much summed up, FTW!
Thanks to everyone out there that took the time to email me, the welcome backs are very cool, makes me think that maybe I'm not wasting my time after all. I'm moving back into FX really slow right now, which is a good thing. I'm going to try and not let it become a full time job this time around. When I took FX down before, it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I literally became ill trying to figure out what to do. On one hand, FX was everything I ever wanted it to be, and with that came all the bad things I hadn't thought of. Major hosting bills, up keeping 100MB of html codes, links, mp3's, mpg's. Keeping up with all the email, complaints to the servers, police, and FBI. On top of that offering almost daily updates with links, stories, and insanity, it wore me down to where FX had taken over. Damn, after typing that, I'm sitting here asking myself why in the fuck did I bring it back? But it's here because I need FX....
I added a few links today, check out the comrades section to see whose who in mental illness on the net. The message board is still in the works. I said two days ago that I had someone working for FX now, and was hoping the shit would be up by now, but....... I guess I'm going to just have to set aside some time and butcher them cgi codes myself. Also, the past updates section is back up and running. Warning, almost all the graphics are gone, and I can't guarantee that any of the links in past updates will work either. There's a ton of shit there, some things I wish I had never posted, others I'm almost proud of... The good, the bad, and the poop, it's all there. I guess it's just like I used to say, it's my life in html. Use it wisely.
Well hello mother fuckers! How long has it been now, about 7 or 8 months maybe? I guess you all gave up on my ass, online funeral and shit maybe? Did you guys play Ozzy's You Can't Kill Rock'n Roll? It's sad to say at the very least I'm back. I never thought in a million years I'd be sitting in front of this fucking computer spewing shit to voiceless masses running amok on the internet, but here I am...... It's a total bitter sweet moment. There's good news, and bad news. The good news is FX is as always coming back better than before. The bad news is, I deleted everything at FX because I sold the old PC. Some things were saved only by pure luck. Friends, fans, and freaks of FX also provided a pic, some text, and what have you here and there to bring you what's before you..... So for the time being, there really isn't shit here, but me.... What else do you really need anyways? If you saved anything from FX please send it to me.
There's someone working for me now that is way more advanced in programing than I could ever be, so expect to see more bells and shit then before. I can program some shit, but why fucking bother when someone is begging you to help out, right? I've requested a new high tech message board and chat room, so all you homeless FX people out there will have a place to hide out again very soon.
For all those hard-core Tillman freaks, here's the low down on what has happened over the last few months. Yup, I am in Washington DC, no, I am not married, and yes, I'm smoking again. I left the attorney's office I was working for with enough money that I may never have to work again. I grew my hair back even though I'm going bald in the worst way. With the tat up there, it makes for many hushed conversations behind my back I'm sure. As long as people are talking about me, I guess I'll be happy wether it be good or bad. Damn, ego check...
I found out over the last few months that people I used to work with, and or jam with have been signed to major labels, and are currently touring and or are hitting the air on MTV. I'll post links and promote them all as soon as I get back in touch with'em. On a darker note, one of the people I used to run drugs for was picked up in Texas last year with 300 LBS of pot in his van. I'm trying to obtain his addy as of this weekend, and will be posting his mail at FX apon his approval. Which brings me to this, I bought a digital camera and a scanner since I went underground, so I can show you guys some of the weirdness I comes across.....
I have noticed a complete decline in what people offer on the web the last few months. With the exception of a limited few, it all looks the same now. Everybody is doing the same fucking thing, just with a different name. FX has been around off and on for almost 7 years, granted, the site wasn't always like this, but the message hasn't changes one bit. So heed this as a warning if you go to a link here and it seems like you have gone back in time..... I'm going to bust out some old school pages on you guys because they rocked way back then, and fuck, they'll be something new to all the newest suffers out there. Just to show you guys how much shit has come full circle, check out this other ForcedeXistence that popped up on the web soon after the real FX came down. I swear, when I was reading this shit for the first time last week, I thought one of you fuckers out there just opened a site to fuck with me. Turns out, this guy is for real. If only I had the internet when I was 17.....
Horny For Evil the dot com is in the hands of some cheese dick right now, so all you people people out there with HFE email accounts are still out of luck for now. I'm not sure how I'm going to address this situation, I'm going to check out all my options and fill you guys in later. On the other hand, I did buy KILLTILL.com and will be offering email and hosting there in the very near future. So there you have it. FX is back. There isn't going to be daily updates unless many people come on board to help out writing. And I really don't want but a select few spewing here anyways. There's plans to bring back some shit better than before, and bring back some things the way they were 7 years ago. I'd like to take this moment to say, FX is Tillman, and I am FX. Whatever happens here, posted etc is because I want it here. I've never taken shit, and I'm not taking shit from no one now or ever. If you don't dig it, get the fuck out of the way!
Wide-eyed. Clutching the steering wheel, I crush the gas pedal into the floor board, leaning back into the feeling of metal, oil, and gas becoming one in a obscene display of horsepower. GWAR is screaming to me that I'm addicted to violence as the car rips through the quickie mart parking lot into the night. Who would have ever thought someone wearing a Bon Jovi tee shirt would be so bold. Stupid mother fucker. Next time he starts to cut someone off maybe he'll remember me slamming his head into the hood of his car 5 or 6 times.
Maybe I'm just talking shit? It's late, I was laying there all tucked into bed reading 
Well fuck! Not even a week back online and people are already giving me total fucking shit about a link here, text there, chat room colors, IP's, and on and mother fucking on. Jesus fucking christ people. I told you guys it was going to take a little while to get shit running the way it was before. I didn't save but about 5 pages of html (not including past updates) from the old FX, so not everything is going to be the way it was.. I'm doing the best I can to bring back things that you liked in the past, but at the same time I'm trying not to let FX take over my life. I really do need you guys to point out shit that is fucked up, it does help out, but don't come at me like I'm fucking stupid. 
In today's gimme gimme gimme world, someone like myself is sure and piss off people on a daily basis. That's my pay day. Knowing that shit here at FX has pushed someone to the edge. We all have our own little bounderies. Finding them, confronting them, and moving past them makes us a better person in the end. If you don't push yourself, you're really not alive! Anyways, somehow all that shit is reversed and does the same for me on a different level. I'll never really be a better person. I'm the same old dickhead I was 6 years ago. 
Thanks to everyone out there that took the time to email me, the welcome backs are very cool, makes me think that maybe I'm not wasting my time after all. I'm moving back into FX really slow right now, which is a good thing. I'm going to try and not let it become a full time job this time around. When I took FX down before, it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I literally became ill trying to figure out what to do. On one hand, FX was everything I ever wanted it to be, and with that came all the bad things I hadn't thought of. Major hosting bills, up keeping 100MB of html codes, links, mp3's, mpg's. Keeping up with all the email, complaints to the servers, police, and FBI. On top of that offering almost daily updates with links, stories, and insanity, it wore me down to where FX had taken over. Damn, after typing that, I'm sitting here asking myself why in the fuck did I bring it back? But it's here because I need FX....
