What a mother fucking fucked up world we live in these days. People who are just like me and you, regular ole folks decide if you're hip or not..... Yeah, that's the way it should be maybe, but I got to ask who the fuck put them in charge of deciding our future? Let's just pretend for a second that you're not me, you don't have your own website. You've never released a demo tape of your music. You've never drove 4 or 5 hours to audition for a part in a major TV series... Like, I dunno, America's Most Wanted or The X-Files. You've never been in movies with the likes of Sharon Stone... Invade karaoke sessions with 'death metal versions' of "Coal Minors Daughter".

Got it? You're not me, okay? But you know you're special in some sort of sick fucked up way. What do you do? How do you re-arrange everything to put you on top? I say you kill the one you're with..... There was a old 70's classic that tried to sing to you that you should love the one you're with, but I'm here to tell you that's all wrong. You got to kill the one you're with to get your name in the paper. Why wait around for years to wait and see if the press will even discover you? Fuck that. Kill'em. Kill them in a way that'll let the world know you're a total sick fucker. If you're reading this and you have any doubt about what it is you were called on to do, I'm telling you right now that murder was/is what's going to make everyone listen to you and your story.

That's the answer to the situation you're in, for real! No one else is ever going to tell you the truth... They'll all lie and say work it out and all that queer shit. Bullshit. You want them out of your life, right? You've gave up everything that's important to you to make them happy yet their existence is still full of bullshit and turmoil? And beyond what you feel. Their life still, and always will forever makes you insane? Kill them.

I figured all this out tonight deep within my third drink. And you know what? I got some really fucked up news for you guys.... Every time I told you I was half way, knee deep, etc in the vodka.... right? I had no fucking clue the bottle I've been drinking was a half gallon. No shit! I just knew it was a liter....... lmao. Opps! I'd like to thank all the weird fucks that have hung out with me for the last year for covering up the truth to what was really going down in my life. If you're confused like I was let me explain... A half liter is way fucking less than a half gallon! All this time I thought, yeah, I'm more or less just a regular ole fuck talking shit with a little bit of booze in him, right? Turns out I was more or less a total drunk to the entire fucking world. I really don't have a real problem with that except for the fact that I don't give a fuck and someone told me that everything I say will/and can be edited from 'a far'. My thoughts on all this is simple... If, in fact you're reading this from outside where the regular ole people of FX hang out. I hope that something really really sick and fucked up happens to you soon. Like, I dunno, someone hacks up your family? Ass fucks your pets? Or maybe smashes your face into a brick wall.

Why, do you ask does it have to be like this....? Well, it's simple... It's like the cunt at the credit union who asked if I was going to be there long because she was afraid the guards might give her a ticket. Fuck you! She said, "I'm not trying to piss you off". And I said, "Well, you are! Fuck it. All you freaks roaming around on this planet thinking you're better than everyone else... All I can say is keep it up because one day I'll run into you... And I'm going to fuck you up years beyond any therapy can ever fix you........ If you're like me, and that's weird within it's self, then party on you drunk lortab bastard....... O, you're used to just spew shit to please me, but now I have a purpose. Fuck off and die..... Opps! There it is.... Again.

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

Hello there you sick ass, web surfing, midget hugging, gore loving excuse for a reader. What do you say you and I have a little talk? Okay? I'll start. I guess it was about 4 years ago I tried something with WebTV that there was no way in hell WebTV was/is ever going to be able to do: Make a webpage with heavy graphics depicting circus rides, twisted (but lovable) mascots, all within the confines of the net. I'm willing to bet that there's only about 10 (if that) of you left that remember my go at Tipsy World? It's true. I have this incredible idea for what will be one of the greatest video game EVER! Not only that, but the breakfast cereal is going to go over like a mother fucker, and I can vision re runs of the Saturday Morning Cartoon being played for years to come.... But there's a problem. What does one do when they posse such a wonderful, original, possibly huge money making ideal? I've more or less sat on it for the last 6 years because I really don't know who to turn to.... So I come to you, my loyal readers for help once again. One of you must know someone in the video game industry. Who wants to be rich with me? Speak up now or forever... yada yada yada.

Wanna see something funny? Try EasyMidget.com. You got to love anyone who thinks the national anthem should be changed to Ozzy's Crazy Train. There's many funny rants over there with some nice pictures to boot. (Maybe I should email them about Tipsy World?) I don't know the webmasters there, but I'm willing to bet my left nut they're some pot smoking mother fuckers. You have to be high to write some of that shit. And I don't mean your regular ole smoke a joint before bed time high, I'm talking about firing up the water bong for breakfast. And if they don't puff out (no you can't have my nut) be very affraid of them. Very affraid.

Anyways, I had this really fucked up dream the other night that I was watching, video taping actually, this chick torturing a couple and someone they had picked up along side the interstate for a thrill kill. Turns out, even though the chick went through total fucking hell she was the only one to live. The part of the dream that I didn't add was that when the police zapped the killer everything started appearing in my dream as black and white snapshots. All these young, dirty, black children were crawling around on the bodies and in most of the 'pictures' they were disrespecting the police by mooning the 'camera'. I'm really not sure what all this means but I can't get the dream out of my head... So I thought I'd try and make it ruin you guys day too... Enjoy!

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

I knew that reporter was snooping around my yard, but it wasn't going to stop me from the fun I had lined up for the weekend. Even the police were watching my driveway from down the road, but I was wise to that as well. What I didn't know was that the reporter was actually inside my house. That mother fucker.

I guess the beginning of the end was when the young girl turned out to be someone. Who would have ever thought that such a upscale young woman would have been riding around with those two scum bags? I know now that I saved her life.

I passed interstate mile marker 57 like I have a million times before, but this turned out to be my lucky day. There he stood, 5ft 7in, 180 pound sack of shit. Waving his arms widely, as if it would have killed him if would have had to walk the 2 miles to the next exit. I pulled the car off the highway some 50 yards past where their smoldering car sat. As I approached the car, I knew the young girl was in great danger. I have a knack for reading people quickly, and besides that she was drugged half out of her mind.

"You guys okay?"

The short stocky man smiled a big ole fake smile, but I could see through his bullshit. His old lady was a walking advertisement for everything you shouldn't wear from K-Mart. She seemed to be a little fucked up too, leaning on the side of the car appeared to be almost work for the aging slut.

"Yeah, we just need some water for the radiator."

What a fucking moron. Go out of your way to pick up some fine ass chick, buy the drugs to dose her, but don't even take the time to keep your car in running order. I should have just killed them then, but I decided to bring them home for the weekend. My older sister referred to my guests, my new friends, my new lovers as "bodies". I had to remind her that until they died they were our guest. I have them tied up, placed them under the house. There's a nice crawl space down there that I like to kind of think of as my play room.

After I cut all their clothes off I found me a nice stick out in the backyard. I liked putting it inside the young woman's cunt while I choke the older one. When she turns blue it's the best. Hearing her good for nothing old man screaming, begging me to stop choking her really gets me off. He would be able to see she's already dead, but I took my stick and poked his eyes right out. It must have seemed strange to the police that the reporter was kneeling down pointing his camera up under my house when they pulled up. I just kept eating the dead one's pussy until they zapped my ass incoherent.

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

Being a unique and creative person my entire life has had it's share of ups and downs. I can remember when I was a little kid it was me in the neighborhood that pretty much set the trends for all the other kids. Thinking back, one time I swept off the back patio really well, set up my own little skating rink. I charged people $1 to skate on my patio. I took all my hand held video games lined them up on the washer and dryer in the garage, it would cost you 25 cents to play one game of pac-man. I had hot dogs and soft drinks for sale, all the while blasting 'Midnight Star's - Freakazoid - No Parking On The Dance Floor' from my boom box. There was nothing special about my patio, we had skated there a thousand times before, but by adding all the extras it made it seem special. Then one day a kid down the road that refused to pay to skate on my patio and left all pissed, telling me how stupid it was to have a skating rink there.. He then turned around and opened his own place in his backyard. Even though we were just a bunch of kids he couldn't understand why all the kids would hang out at my house.

Extreme example huh? Okay, try this.... Sometime in 93 before I was Impetuous Doom I was playing bass for Muddy Mud Skipper until they could find a replacement. They were playing rock n roll, no metal. So I wasn't wanting to stay in the band, just helping my friend out right? One day I showed Muddy some songs I had written that I thought would fit in with his band. The drummer liked them, and so did Todd the singer. So we all jammed them out, got them down all smooth for a upcoming show. They found a new bass player a few months later and I moved on. Well about 3 or 4 years later Muddy's band had broken up and Todd had moved around with different bands.... Turns out Todd newest band had been booked to play a club with Impetuous Doom. We got there, unloaded all our shit and waited for our turn to play. A few bands had been on, and then Todd walks up to me and says, "Hey Tillman, I hope you don't mind but we've been using a few of your songs. Is it cool if we play them tonight?" I stood there a little shocked, but thought what the hell, and told him I didn't care... He told the crowd I wrote them, they played them and it was a bitter sweet moment. There's many others things I could bring up to show how people tend to borrow ideas from me but there's no point. It happens. I never know what to think about it though. Part of me should be proud that what I do other people like enough to adopt and then call it their own. But there's the other side that feels that it's a complete rip-off, and it makes me mad as fuck.

Taking all this into consideration, let's discuss now this pertains to the internet. I know FX wasn't the first, (fuck not even in the top 10,000 probably) to offer this type of format and or content. I've been doing the whole 'rant update thing' for a few years now, so I sure as hell isn't fresh off the band wagon either. But the rants, along with the links, the pictures, everything is unique because it's mine. No one has any control over what gets posted here.... I don't go to other people's sites, see what they're linking to, re hash a rant, then call it my own. I offer places and pictures that I find while just fucking around, yeah sure. But I only post sites that I've read through and find to be some form of entertainment... I just don't link them because I see someone else has... And if I do use a link that someone has dug up from the far reaches of the net I'll at least give that site credit for the link. The great thing about my situation is I have a little bit of control here, because if you're just copying shit at my site and passing it off as your own, or at least not giving me credit, then I don't have to link to you. Your 10 hits a month will not be missed at FX, but I'm pretty sure you'll notice the difference.

I removed a few links from the comrades section due to lack of content, updates, and some were just total pop up hell.... If you're on geoshities or one of the many other pop up free servers I just can't link there... It's causing my readers surfing hell to go through total hell. Get serious about your site and buy your domain. Or at the very least take the time to use a free server that doesn't produce a pop up for every fucking new page you click. If I'm going to link to pop up hell it better be putting some money in my pocket so it can help out paying for FX. I don't have one fucking pop up anywhere on FX, and have no plan to add one anytime soon. Trust me you'll feel so much better about everything if you take the time to get your own domain and treat your readers right.... Meaning content you write, posting links to web sites you've actually read through and find entertaining, and offering as close to pop up free pages as possible. If you don't care about any of those things then what's the point of posting your site on the web? It's so funny for webmasters to say "I really don't care what you think about my site".... That's the biggest bunch of bullshit. If that's the case then why the hell are they signed up for 10 plus top lists and go around spamming guestbooks with their shit. They say they may don't care if someone hates their site, but that's so far from the truth. If some emails me and says FX sucks ass I don't say "Well, yeah, I don't care what you think!" I want to know what it is that rubbed them the wrong way. I never get negative email anymore... A fuck you now and then, a few email bombs a week, but that's about it. I guess I'm doing something right......?

Anyways, I'm looking for some new comrades. I understand what the word comrade means now as far as the net goes too. Not only does it mean people that like what your doing and share the same or similar ideas, but it means people that will be there for you and treat you with respect for the long haul. (Seabass I miss you man.... please come back) People that take their site seriously, and I mean that like posting new shit weekly, having their own domain, or at least use a free server that doesn't have produce a new pop up on every new page you click on.... Offer some original content, be it rants, stories, music or pictures. And most important, sites that try not to just copy and or steal other peoples work and call it their own. If you have a 'dark, underground, or sick site', like what you see here at FX and would like to trade some decent traffic, please just drop me a line and lets talk about it.... I'll always treat you with the respect that you deserve.

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

Well guys FX has pretty much got back to where it was right before I closed the doors May of 2001. Bandwidth is out of control... The last two months I've had to dig in my own pockets to keep FX up for the whole month outside of the regular old hosting fees I agree to pay. Although I've only had one sponsor the last few months, which I don't, and never will shove down you guys throats with pop ups, and endless links. But if you're into rape movies/pictures there's no better place to get'em on the net than Rape-Abused.com. Plus, as of tonight, I signed up for a way for you guys to watch all the porn flicks you could ever want.... Plus by getting you sick rape porn, or twisted and or regular porn films from here, you're helping keep FX free for everyone.... and free for YOU. Wow, see that? That's me trying to save FX.. I don't want to make FX a pay site but if things don't turn around soon I'll be forced to do just that. I know the regs around here who more or less just show up to read the updates may not fully understand what the fuck I'm talking about, you may even think I've lost my my mind. The problem is, there's so much traffic here and it is costing me big time money to have FX on the net. I've looked at my options and removing the very pictures that make 'FX' FX is not a option. This whole weird pic thing is more or less what got me/FX started, and I'm sure that if I took all the pics off FX that it would really solve the problem.

Perhaps it would cut out many of the 'one time visitors', but without FX the way it was meant to be do you think we (and I mean real regs here) would have ever got to know such freaks as Joe The Jarhead, Gman, Lith Sausage, Demonic Goon, Creep, MissBehaven, BitchyCat, LeafaRae, SickoPath, Stodd, Morbid, Sticky Keys, Ditch, AK47, and The Shitter.... plus many others if FX didn't offer some form of free porn / gore pictures to lure people in...?

Maybe no one will ever know the true answer to that question, but I'm willing to bet my left nut that it was one of the things that help'em get here even if it was my updates that kept then here week after week. But it seems here lately that even my updates isn't enough to keep you/me happy.... Simple shit like asking you guys to go over to Smitty's World and signing his mother fucking GuestBook and only a few of you do it makes me think that this is all a waste of time.... And that you (yeah you, just the regular ole everyday FX average reader) can't see the whole picture. Or perhaps couldn't care less?

I know no one reading this owes me shit, but there's a lot of you that think of FX as home, and this is right around the 3 month warning you had three months before FX got shut down the last time around. If you come by FX weekly, get traffic from FX daily, like what you see at FX and so on and so fourth you have to either get involved here by buying porn, sending in updates, email me shit to post here or at the very least offer a little feedback. FX is my hobbie, and I love fucking around here sharing myself with you guys, but if I'm not getting feedback, input, links, or fulfilling simple requests (like signing a guestbook) then this whole thing IS just a waste my time and money.

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

While surfing around in my lortab/vodka haze Friday night I came across a site that has many many sick twisted funny ass pictures and movies, and for the life of me I couldn't remember the URL. I did a little search through my temporary files because my history is erased daily, but the files (ie pictures and movies) remain on my PC until I delete them. If you've never gone into the temopary files on your pc, there's hundreds, even thousands of jpg's and gif's.... Anything and everything your PC downloads while surfing. So I just kinda scanned down to the middle of the files and the first fucking jpg I click on was this! Ack! Yup, there it is, Smitty's World. Yeah, that's the place I was... Goddamn what a time I must have had there.... There's hundreds of pictures there, everything from poop, hot chicks, twisted sex. And my favorite was the 'funny pics'. The thing that blew my mind about his site, besides the kick ass content is the fact no one signs his fucking GuestBook?! What the fuck is that all about? So guys, please, for me, sign his guestbook. Fuck.... plug your sites, tell him hello, or to fuck off.... Something! Damn!

(Also, you may notice his site was designed by Weeping Web, so you know the layout is kick ass.)

FYI: Not one new reader took the this yet to email me... See yesterdays update. I knew it would be like this, so by no one emailing me it's only helping to get the newbie feel somehow. How much of a bullshit statement is that?

A few of you seem to be having problems with the new chat room. I see some of you even got Anti Virus alerts....? What the fuck is all that about? I've used the new chat program manny times and it's never given me a problem. When you click on Chat Hell you're taken to another web site, a close friend of mine... Jpilot is a chat program, it has to be installed on your PC, it asks you if you'd like to RUN the program, you click 'Yes'. It'll ask you to EnterYourName, this is where you type your chat handle.. then just hit 'Enter Chat Hell'. It's very simple secure shit. It's 10 times better than the old program plus it doesn't cost me bandwidth/money for you guys to sit in there all night like the last one was doing. All I can say is try again, because that one isn't going anywhere until I see there's a real problem.

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

I find myself lately sitting here at my laptop for hours just starring at the FX main page waiting for something to happen. I read through the archives and try and place myself back in time, maybe try and remember what I could have been thinking right at that moment. Truth is most of the rants here at FX I posted while I was totally blacked out. It was always like this, but over the last few years the only way I feel I'm able to work on FX is while I'm drinking. Last night for instance. I was completely blacked out by 8pm and can only remember bits and pieces of my day. While sitting, starring at FX I passed out. I'm not really sure why I sit here waiting, I know deep down nothing is going to happen, yet here I am at 2 o'clock in the morning. I tweak things that no one will ever notice but myself and feel better knowing I took the time to do it. Then turn around and wait for someone to notice, only to be pissed off because no one says anything. Like you guys don't have a life outside of FX... Fuck, I know that this is just a website, but I forget sometimes that the world would keep turning even if FX wasn't here. It sure as hell didn't slow down when FX was gone for over 6 months.

I know that when I surf I only pay attention to places that I really like, and I suppose websites are like people, some you just click with and others you think are just a waste of space. I have no idea what it must be like to come here for the first time, not knowing me or what I'm about. I try to imagine what that would be like, and I really can't remove myself from FX to get a accurate feel the newbie here would experience. Why I even waste my time thinking about such things is beyond me.... I guess it's so that I can be more in touch with you, the reader. Your likes and dislikes. What makes coming to FX worth your time. Part of me feels FX is awesome because, well fuck, it's mine. Then there's the way I see it 99% of the time... A piece of electronic shit. That's why I slave over it so much I guess, to try and make it perfect. And the drinking is part of what blinds me to the fact that it isn't. I know, I'm thinking about it too much, but hey that's one of the reason a few of you come back from time to time... Because I am neurotic.....?

If today is your first time here at FX, and I do mean the very first time ever, I wish you would take the time to either email me (Tillman@ForcedeXistence.com) your impression of me/FX, or go to the FX Forum and tell me what you think is going on here. Who do you think runs this website. Why do you think it's here. Is everything laid out nice and easy. Were you disturbed, or did you find it all to be just a sad attempt to shock people. What message do you believe is behind FX? I know I'm only opening the door for folks to fuck with me, but more than likely no one will say shit. People just sit back and surf and don't want to get involved for the most part. I guess it's like driving by a accident along the interstate.... You may rubber neck, but more often the not you're sure as hell aren't going to pull over and get involved. There it is guys... FX is just road kill found along side the internet super highway...... Anyways, if just one new reader here would take the time to answer some of these questions I would be very greatful.

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

I'm really not sure what I'm going to say here, cept you better get your ass over to BOTB. Fuck, that dude has some kick ass movies for you guys to check out.... FX used to have flicks, but until I find a server more cool than the one I'm using that offers more bandwidth, you're just going to have to pretend there's kick ass movies here.....?

So many of you wanted to see pictures of my tat as it was before I went to see the Doc.... Turns out, although I have a few pics here, I'm not ready to show them. Last thing I want to to do is condemn the guilty... Sucks to know me in person huh? Thanks for the many many people who have met me and kept my identity under wraps, and for those who have kept their mouths closed I am grateful. But..... Here's a few pics of my head 6 hours after I came back from having my tattoo removed. Number One    Number Two    Number Three   Number Four

I'm so fucked up right now... With all the Lortabs and the half liter of vodka. Fuck, other people are controlling the outcome of this update... And maybe my whole entire fucking life. Just smile, and look like you'd hurt someone. It'll be okay.

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

I went for my second laser tattoo removal treatment this morning. AcK! Talk about some fucking pain. I started to post a update this morning before I headed out, but it turns out the rant was starting to talk me out of going. It's so fucked..... For those of you who don't know, I have a tattoo right on top of my head for just over 10 years. Having has had it's up and downs... I'm having it removed because I'm balding and can no longer just grow a little hair to cover it when needed. It takes about 2 months now to grow enough to hide... Used to it would only take half that. (maybe)

Having a tat on top of my head has been over all a wonderful experience. It would take forever for me to explain it all, but when I meet people, I think because of it I meet the real person. This usually means people are down to earth, laid back, maybe a little crazy, but when they'd meet me there was no need for them to put on a show. They could see me for who I was, and they'd let their guard down and be themselves. Unfortunately, this also means that shallow, narrow minded, uptight, and insecure people would react to me either in a negative way, by treating me like a second class citizen, or by staring, pointing, pulling their children/family/girlfriends etc close as if they were afraid of me.... Most regular folks out there never even notice my tat, or would annoy me with a few questions. A few questions X's 20 people a day = a huge fucking hassle.

Okay, if you guys want to have a little better understanding of what my life is like I found this article about Mike Wilson, dubbed the "Illustrated Man". Although this is an extreme example in ways, many things his says hits home with me on many levels. On a lighter note, here's a link to a Enigma site... I met this dude in Nashville TN in 94 or 95 at Queen of Hearts Tattoo shop and he was/is very fucking cool. That picture over there is him.... The Enigma.

Anyways, it hurts like hell having them removed, but this time the doc hooked my ass up with 40 lortabs.... Ah man, MMmmm hydrocodone. That, and I'm planning a weaving little road trip to get a liter of vodka, I should be a really happy mother fucker come tonight. I'm going to try and be in FX Chat Hell, so stop by and check out the new chat program. It's really nice. I'll be really hammered. And we can really talk some shit. Really. There's more Friday Update to come later.... Until then!

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

Subject: link request
From: gratiot detroit
To: Tillman

Tillman,

I like ForcedeXistence and us sick fuckers have to stick together. My life sucks so I have nothing better to do than harass you. Check out my sickness at:

Institute for the Advancement of Violence
http://www.xoing.com/member/violence/

Gratiot Clean Pussy TGP
http://violence.pornhost4free.com/tgp.html

I would appreciate my link added to your site.

gratiot

---

Subject: Howdy
From: Bob Wicked
To: Tillman

Hey,

I e-mailed you awhile ago asking you if you could help out my band with a link exchange. You said that you wanted to hear our mp3's and they have been finally posted. check out http://www.mp3.com/Dying_Urge if you want to give the band a listen. Our website is http://www.dyingurge.com (the site is a little fucked up as of now). We are an American black metal band and we are trying to get our foot in the door. If you could link to us, than that would be a huge help. We would gladly link back. But even if you don't want to link exchange than just e-mail me back and tell me what you think of our music.

~Bob Wicked

P.S.- I downloaded that song Suffer the loss, its pretty good. Death metal with some grindcore influences. I like it!

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE

I said within the last few weeks that there would be no more poop pictures here at FX... Well, like always, I lied to you guys... I had no idea that some sick fuck out there was going to send all these pics to me..... Even better, they're chicks pooping on chicks... Nice change of pace from all the queer poop pics. Anyways, here they are... I'm not sure where they're from but, they are worth posting.... Thanks SkatSuckR for thinking of FX. Head over to FX Fetish Pics to check them out.

Speaking of poop, why not go visit The Shitter. With a name like that you know it's going to be brown and smelly. He also seems to think that FX didn't send him enough traffic last time I linked him here, so be sure and click everything on his site. Trying to suck all the bandwidth out of his ass like a turd on Easter Sunday. This is the last plug you're going to get from me, so make it count. I'm taking the rest of the day off from FX. So go away.

Rant About It HERE     See More Bullshit HERE